The first thing I noticed was just how clean and beautiful Luxembourg City was. I wondered how long it would take for my kids to break something. And alas, it took about 1 hour for them to break my spirit.
It was Belgian national day, so everything in Belgium was closed for the holiday. What the hell were we going to do? Then we remembered: the best part about Belgium is how quickly you can leave the country. So, we decided to take a day trip to Luxembourg. We got the car packed with enough supplies to support a small army and took off. About an hour into the two hour drive, the kids were asleep. We were nearly giddy. We had visions of well rested, well behaved kids touring the city. We arrived and let the kids out at an awesome and massive park. After the first 30 seconds, the kids found the water feature and were soaked…and naked. Hubby and I relaxed on a bench while the kids played in the water. Then it was time to leave the park. LadyLove had a huge poop in her pull-up. But, this wasn’t a pull-up made for swimming. Her massive, waterlogged poop trickled down her legs as she fought to stay in the water.
It was then that a seemingly nice, American family approached us. They looked at us and said, “Wow. Are you touristing with three kids or do you live here?” At that moment, Hubby was elbow deep in LadyLove’s shit. Her screaming and flailing tantrum, made everyone at the park wish that they were in a hazmat suit. Bear was standing next to me totally naked while screaming “MOMMY” on repeat. My boob was suddenly in full view as BabyDoll decided to unlatch and scream cry. I hadn’t processed yet that those people were talking to us. So Hubby, between wrestling and cleaning up a biohazard, gave that poor family a look of death. He then screamed at them “WE LIVE CLOSE” and proceeded to ignore them. They hurriedly scurried away.
We finally pried the kids out of the park and got to a restaurant for lunch. But the European style seating made me miss America. The table built for one was suddenly holding lunch for four. The kids were kicking each other under the table, standing, yelling, dropping food, and more. It had me hissing quiet threats at them to no avail. Hubby and I had an unpleasant meal where we tried to shove the food down our throats as quickly as possible, so we could leave the restaurant. After lunch, we attempted to do a tourist walk around the city. We were able to get through two thirds of the walk before the endless trantruming, taunting, arguing, whining and water bottle throwing left us with no will to live, never mind a desire to see more of Luxembourg.
At this point, we were hungry, but knew that the kids would not be able to sit through a meal at a restaurant. Instead we decided to placate them and get some ice cream. There was a cute looking gelato place that had a lot of outdoor seating. I love ice cream and sadly, this was about to be the highlight of my day. I was really looking forward to it. Our orders arrived and the bees started swarming. Suddenly a bee took a kamikaze dive right into my sundae. There it stayed, unsuccessfully struggling to get free from the sticky syrup. After Hubby had the audacity to say “Just eat around it,” I got up and walked away from the table.
After strapping the kids into the car without further incident, Hubby and I took a deep breath. It was a sigh of relief. It was already 7:30, the kids usual bedtime. We were sure that they would be asleep in minutes, and we’d have a luxuriously quiet car ride home. At 8:00, after a short stop to feed the baby, Bear feel asleep. A minute later BabyDoll was out. Two down, one to go. As we pulled up to a long line of stopped traffic at 9:00PM, ChattyCathy was still going strong in the backseat. It seemed like someone gave LadyLove some kind of really effective upper before putting her in the car. She was talking, singing, and screaming nonstop. As the car pulled into our driveway, at 10:30, LadyLove was STILL going strong. Seriously. We deposited the kids in bed, and I promptly fell asleep on the couch. It was the perfect end to the perfect day.